An Arguable and Debatable Topic of Discussion

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Alexandria

Dear Readers,

 

I am pleased that the DoomFortress has received so many comments.  We really do appreciate your readership and your taking the time to comment.  While we have received praise and spam there are many comments saying that they disagree with our opinions and beliefs expressed through our letters.  We do not claim that NeoVictorianism is the best path for all nor that our interpretation of it is a hard and fast rule for living a NeoVictorian life style.  Moreover we do not wish to impose our beliefs on others.  The point of this blog was to find like minded NeoVictorians and make this counter-cultural movement something accessible to others.  We also started this blog with the purpose of creating a safe place, for those that will it, to discuss these topics.  So if you disagree with us please know that we are not in the least bit offended.  Furthermore if you have a differing opinion than that expressed in one of our letters please don’t merely stop at stating that your opinion is different but let us know what your valued opinion is and we would love to open up a discussion about it.  Again thank you for reading and commenting and acknowledge that we value your opinion and would enjoy being enlightened to it.

-Alexandria

Posted in Defining Neo-Victorianism, Philosophy | 388 Comments

The Summertime Modesty of Public Bathing Conundrum

Posted on July 28, 2011 by Alexandria

Hello again dear readers, this summer has been a frantic one and I am glad to get the chance to converse with you once again.  Today I shall broach the topic of a summer time conundrum that many a modest person must face, that is the complexities of recreational public bathing.  Whether it be for sport, leisure or a social engagement there is little better way to enjoy the fine summer weather than at the side or inside of the swimming pool.  The latest trends in bathing fashion would leave the wearer of a bathing suit with much to be desired and the on looker with little to imagine.  This issue among the other intricacies of poolside behavior are what I shall write about today.

I need not mention that the problem of appropriate poolside fashion is most salient to the female Neo-Victorian.  Even the one-piece suits one finds are left with pieces missing around the navel and obliques.  I understand that there is a practicality to the form fitting design of the bathing suit, I do not venture to encourage Neo-Victorians to wear the full bodied bathing gear of the Victorian era however one must find a common ground between streamline efficiency and appropriate modesty.  In my shopping for the right bathing suit of the season I was hard pressed to find something attractive (not the floral printed skirted likes of my grandmothers bathing suits) and an article that wouldn’t have me awkwardly hiding behind my towel.  I luckily came across a simple black Merona number, perhaps designed with the middle aged in mind but it suited me perfectly.  There is ruching along the front which serves to keep the suit streamline without over accentuating my every curve and includes  simple straps to keep my shoulders from being inappropriately completely bare.  There are other fine options in the Tankini, a two piece bathing suit in which the top half extends to meet the bottom much as a tank top would.

For gentleman the issue is less pertinent however I understand that some may feel uncomfortable when selecting what is appropriate to wear in mixed company poolside.  Swimming Trunks as they are popularly called are the most appropriate choice of swim wear for gentleman, preferably shorts that extend just above the knee as to not show too much leg yet do not restrict mobility.  Briefs and Speedo’s are of course perfectly valid options for more sporting aquatic events however they should be reserved for just that and not for the water park or pool party.  It is only logical for men to have bare chests while swimming unless they feel uncomfortable or are at risk of exposing themselves to too much sun, in such cases a rash guard, an ingenious shirt made of waterproof fabric originally intended to prevent surf and boogie boarders from getting rashes on their stomachs would be an acceptable addition to their bathing ensemble.

These leads me to another topic of inappropriate bathing gear.  Wearing one’s street clothes or even more atrocious under-clothes is not appropriate for a poolside event.  Not only will the chemicals in a pool or the salt in the ocean be detrimental to the integrity of your clothing but they are simply not designed for such activities.  They are not safe for swimming and will greatly impede your movement.  They are carrying the dirt and filth of everywhere you’ve been that day and are now serving to ‘flavor’ the water with such for everyone else.  Lastly they are again not designed for aquatic movement and are likely to shift, float and move in such a way as your fellow swimmers will see what they oughtn’t to.  Undergarments I really oughtn’t to have to explain.  I have heard the argument that bathing suits are functionally the same design as undergarments and so there is little difference to this I say, if your bathing suit looks like your underwear, you need a new bathing suit.

And now I will conclude with my last point of appropriate use of bathing garments.  When you are not in the water you ought to cover yourself up a bit, without the excuse of proper mobility your outfit will be highly inappropriate.  There are a number of attractive cover ups and sun dresses to serve this purpose for the ladies and simple shirt will suffice for the gentleman.  As the summer has reached its sweltering apex I often see individuals in transit to a river or pool wearing nothing but their bathing suits or a bikini top with shorts, exposing themselves to passerby’s.  I understand that these fashion decisions are made out of practicality and comfort, however they certainly make me, the individual simply looking round the bend for her coming bus only to be affronted by exposed navel and most likely a good deal more, rather uncomfortable. So even if you are comfortable with exposing yourself to complete strangers remember they may not be comfortable with having you exposed to them.

-Alexandria

P.S. If anyone would like to share their modest bathing advice feel free to share or post a link to your favorite swim wear.

Posted in Undifferentiated | 22 Comments

Hat Etiquette

Posted on June 28, 2011 by Alexandria

-Apologies for the belated missive but life has been busy here in the DoomFortress. Also we have become aware of the inability to post comments on our site and promise to fix this as soon as possible (and here we thought no one wanted to converse with us). Yes well, let’s begin on this weeks letter concerning hats and their proper etiquette.-

Last week at my place of employment my attention was drawn to my manager who was wearing a hat, throughout the entire day, in our building. Now hats come and go in fashion but no longer are they the normal attire for an individual leaving the privacy of their home. This shift in costuming has relegated proper hat etiquette to a rather ambiguous state of uncertainty. A preliminary sweep of the internet alerts me to the fact that many people are curious about hat etiquette and I encourage you to educate yourself. Hopefully the DoomFortress can make that process a bit simpler for you and I shall provide links to sites that I found helpful in writing this letter.

The practice of head coverings is unsurprisingly a tradition most likely born from religious practice. Faiths of the old testament variety admonish everyone to keep their heads covered. Those of the new testament vein prefer women to cover their heads and for men not to. I am sure you, intelligent reader can think of a few religious examples of head coverings yourself. The Victorian era practice of hat wearing was most likely an extension of the prevailing Christian beliefs. To some it would have been scandalous to be seen out with a bare head.

While modern conventions no longer mandate the covering of heads regardless of gender or activity one may occasionally want to supplement their outfit with such a dashing millinery accessory.  The times have changed yes, however some sort of protocol ought to be in place for hat wearing.  As some people do still get offended by improper hat etiquette we shall seek to strike a middle ground.

For men hat etiquette is a bit more strict.  They are encouraged to remove their hat indoors unless passing through such informal constructs as corridors and elevators.  There was a time when a man was to remove his hat if a lady entered his presence, or at least to lift it in greeting her.  I leave this decision to the individual male hat owner but would advise against donning a cap simply to cover up mussed hair.  For religious functions such as church, funeral’s etc.  follow the indoor/ outdoor rule however do take note of outdoor functions and follow the host’s behavior (aka if the family of the deceased is hatless at an outdoor funeral you’re better of removing your hat).  I think my manager ought to have removed his hat despite our companies relaxed dress code.  He also should have called it a Trilby (not a very manly hat in my opinion) instead of a Fedora ( a very manly mat).

For ladies our hats are part of our ensemble and no one can expect us to doff our caps for any reason short of cultural or religious sensitivity.  As a child I was always put in hats because my mother said I “had the head for them” and I haven’t met a person to disagree.  So naturally I wore/wear them often.  As an adolescent I found myself at a  prayer meeting wearing a hat and was asked to remove it by numerous of the mixed company present.  “You don’t need it,” a woman kindly prodded, “you’re inside.”  Well of course I needed that hat, it was a part of my outfit and I’d planned my whole costume to incorporate it.  I was rather embarrassed and of course acquiesced to their wishes but traditionally speaking ladies can and in some cultures are encouraged to wear their hats to church.

So for a quick rule of thumb:

Men don’t wear hat’s indoors – Ladies choose your hats fashionably and wear accordingly

Fashionably Yours,

Alexandria

 

P.S., Links:   http://www.manyhattyreturns.com/2010/08/16/hatequette-for-women/

http://www.gq.com/style/style-guy/accessories/200305/hat-etiquette

http://artofmanliness.com/

Posted in Etiquette | 65 Comments

Help Launch Young Gentleman Explorers!

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Alexandria

A new steam punk web series in a medium that we think will soon supersede conventional television. They only have 22 days left to meet their goal ($750 out of $20,000). Don’t miss your chance to be in the credits!

Posted in Going On's, Objects of Note, Promotions | 14 Comments

A Letter Concerning Psuedonyms and the Integrity of False Identities

Posted on June 20, 2011 by Alexandria

As many of you may have heard, the ‘Gay Girl in Damascus’ is a 40 year old married man from Georgia.  For those of you who haven’t I will quickly brief you on the situation.  A blog about a Lesbian woman in Syria became incredibly popular as it charted the trials and tribulations of her difficult life.  When she went ‘missing’ an investigation was launched into her whereabouts discovering that Amina Arraf ‘the Gay Girl in Damascus’ was actually Tom MacMaster ‘White Privileged Male in Georgia’.  Followers and activists are outraged and upset that they were being mislead for so long.  Such a scenario questions how reliable blogs are and more importantly brings up issues of honesty and and integrity in the online community.

(I promise we, Victor and Alexandria, are two separate people who are actual Neo-Victorians writing this blog.)

In an interview with The Washington Post the gentleman guilty of donning the literary guise of a lesbian admitted that while his blog was a vehicle to gain awareness about the problems in Syria it was largely fueled by a creative fiction writing exercise and later when it grew in popularity by the realization of internet famedom.  The use of pseudonyms have been utilized to better market writing for ages.  It was in fact a very popular practice in the Victorian era to publish fake exotic memoirs or to level the playing field for discriminated individuals such as women and foreigners.  There is nothing erroneous about publishing the written word under an assumed name if their intentions are unadulterated.

MacMaster did have his information aligned and claims to have created an accurate representation of the Syrian climate however he took his activism a step too far.  The creative fiction writer utilized a photo of a Syrian looking female from London found on Facebook.  (If face detection technology was more widely used this blog would have never gotten off the proverbial ground.)  He also chatted privately with unknowing individuals under the guise of fictional Amina.

Groups such as Facebook have a very strict policy on accurately representing one’s identity; such a stringent code of honesty as would prevent such blogging fraud from occurring.  Yet honest activists such as Zhao Jing , a prominent China activist, who goes by Michael Anti was disallowed from utilizing his assumed identity on Facebook.  For activists, especially refugees and those speaking out against their own government, providing the international virtual world with your correct name and address can become a legitimate safety concern.  I changed my name from it’s legal one on Facebook and if they want to erase it that’s fine, however to make a tangential remark I believe people ought to be called whatever they like.

While dropping your last name is a far less serious offense than assuming the identity of a discriminated against individual in legitimate danger, the concerns of honesty and integrity are still present.  If MacMaster had created his blog (which is no longer viewable to the public) as a means of giving a voice to the voiceless while pulling the ‘wool’ over our eyes as to his true identity then perhaps we could overlook the dishonesty.  Perhaps writing a blog from Amina’s viewpoint under the full disclosure that it was fictional would have been a better way to go but you have to admit it made for a much more exciting read when we thought it was real.

People were quite angry when they found out that YouTube video blogger LonelyGirl15 was a hoax but then she won a Teen Choice award.  No one demands that Lemony Snicket show his face on the back covers of his bestselling children’s books The Series of Unfortunate Events.  What is disconcerting about Mr. MacMaster’s less than authentic blogging experiment is that he chose a very actual and controversial situation to create from and place his character within.

It is perhaps safe to say that there are situations in which honesty is more salient than others and representing the conflicts in Syria is a rather important issue.  Creating a pseudonym to give a more poignant voice to the voiceless is a legitimate device of rhetoric.  Yet for the conditions of expanding one’s reader base and experimenting with creative fiction, well I don’t recall Memoirs of a Geisha being flung from the heights of the bestseller list on account of the author being Arthur Golden and not Professor Jakob Haarhuis or Nitta Sayuri.

Authentically Yours,

Alexandria

 

Posted in Going On's, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , | 14 Comments

What’s the Fuss over Facebook?

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Victor

As you may have heard Facebook is receiving significant negative attention over their new facial recognition feature. I simply don’t understand why it is that this has drawn so much negative attention. The recent trend with computers has clearly been to take as much control away from the end user as possible; automating things makes things easier for people and by and large the layman seems satisfied. I do not make heavy use of Facebook. It seems to me however that were I the type of person who likes to have as many processes automated as possible I would be tickled to have all of my photos tagged automatically.

The oddest thing to me is that the feature is not mandatory. Users are free to disable the feature from recognizing their face if they so chose. Because of this ability it seems that the entire fuss is over the fact that the feature is enabled by default. As I mentioned however, the average user wants as much done for them as possible. The layman certainly does not want to have to go out of his way to enable a feature that is going to make his life easier. Personally I think that Facebook made a smart decision based on heuristics of their users. They recognized that most of their users would want the feature turned on, so they turned it on by default.

View all the photo's of Doom you'd like.

The entities leading the charge against Facebook say this is wrong because it directly contradicts their privacy agreement. There is a line in the privacy agreement however saying that Facebook can change it at any time without prior notice and that by continuing to use their service you give your tacit agreement to the latest policies. This argument against the new feature is purely semantic, as Facebook simply hasn’t gone through the trouble of getting their lawyers to update the privacy agreement yet.

One objection which has been raised is that Facebook could use the information at their disposal to track people. The objection boils down to a slippery-slope fallacy of ‘I feel that this feature could lead to bad things in the future’. This is interesting because Facebook could easily run the face recognition using the current tag information without telling anyone about it.

The silliest point which the editorial raises was ‘anyone who snapped a picture of you could learn everything about you’. Before the face recognizer, anyone who knew your name could learn everything about you but now I guess a person who snaps a picture of you on the street will have access to that information as well. These types of arguments are clearly not very well thought out at all. For one thing, if they aren’t your friend and your profile is private the hypothetical picture taker couldn’t learn anything. Furthermore, based on the complexity of facial recognition and the number of users it has, it seems unlikely that the software will check anything but the faces of friends against faces in pictures that are uploaded.

Any Neo-Victorian need not fret, as those within a close enough level of familiarity to be one’s Facebook friends are not the type of people we should worry about seeing our photograph. In reality anyone who is truly concerned about privacy never had a Facebook in the first place, as it has always been a bit of a privacy risk.

I feel that anyone paranoid enough to not want the face identifier identifying them will go through the trouble of turning it off. and everyone else will appreciate having the feature without needing to fuss with the menus. Many people that are addicted to Facebook consider everyone on their friends list to be in their personal sphere anyhow. I do not feel as such and cannot rationalize how anyone would think that the kind of people who make heavy use of Facebook would have a problem with this new feature.

With the Highest Regards,

Victor

An article about the new Facebook feature is here.

Posted in Degrees of Farmiliarity, Going On's | 75 Comments

Maniquette – The Art of Manliness

Posted on June 10, 2011 by Alexandria

Everything you need to know from the in’s and outs of opening doors, to how to match your shirts and ties, to how to deliver a baby can be found at The Art of Manliness blog.

The new Art of Manliness book available at Amazon, Borders and Barnes and Noble online stores.

Improve your maniquette with their new book!

Posted in Etiquette, Objects of Note, Promotions, Undifferentiated | 14 Comments

Why We Like SteamPunk

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Victor and Alexandria

Check out this amazing house from ModVic.com where you can find Steam Punk real estate and interior design ideas.

Awesome steampunk computer setup

Posted in Objects of Note, Undifferentiated | Tagged , , , | 72 Comments

Gift Giving and Receiving Tutorial for the Contemporary Conscientious Individual

Posted on June 6, 2011 by Alexandria

image courtesy of Vicorian Living.com

You’ve been invited to your good friends birthday party along with a few other friends and various relations you’ve never met before.  In a most appropriate taste you decide to select a gift based on thoughtfulness and your relationship with the guest of honor, a custom  bedazzled toothbrush holder in reference to your common love for oral hygiene and the fact that their toothbrush had recently landed in a less than hygienic location on your last camping trip.  You have no doubt that your friend will love the gift accompanied by a witty note and wrapped in their favorite colors to match the gemstones you painstakingly glued onto the gift,  yet when it’s time to open presents you start to feel an uncomfortable anxiety churning up the cake and ice cream in your stomach.  What if the other guests don’t understand your gift and all the effort you put into it?  When Uncle Jim’s gift is unwrapped, a new car stereo with an MP3 player dock and every other possible technological audio advancement, you are almost sure that your sparkly toothbrush holder isn’t the best token of esteem for your good pal.

For myself and many others gift giving and receiving can be a cornucopia of anxiety and opportunities for social faux pas.   Take this quick 10 question quiz by  Kiplinger on contemporary gift giving etiquette to see where you stand and then I’ll walk you through my own personal Neo-Victorian slant on how such situations ought to be addressed.

It doesn’t matter how you scored because the DoomFortress is here to educate one on proper etiquette in all gift giving situations.  Firstly I’d like to address ‘gifts of visitation’.  I use this term ‘gifts of visitation’ to encompass courteous tokens that a visitor or party attendee might bring to a house party or gathering of some sort.  These gifts often come in the form of bottles of wine, a gourmet food item or perhaps something of a more personal or practical nature.  While these gifts are never mandatory unless requested, as a Neo-Victorian I would highly advise their use for visits to those that fall within your personal levels of familiarity of acquaintance and the more familiar.  It is a highly kind and thoughtful act of courtesy which can help strengthen personal relationships.

A vestige of Victorian etiquette in regards to ‘gifts of visitation’ that I would like to revive is that of discreteness.  When you are bringing such a gift and there are other guests present one should never make a big to-do about their act of kindness by formally presenting the gift.  Leave the gift somewhere such as an entryway table, or the kitchen counter with a short note for your hosts to discover.  If you are the host then you shouldn’t serve what has been given to you or acknowledge the gift.  It can make your other guests feel uncomfortable and embarrass everyone.  Instead send the thoughtful guest a thank you via an email or a phone call shortly after the event letting them know how much you appreciated their attendance.  This little rule of etiquette is especially important to remember if you fall into an acquaintance or casual friend relationship with a  host.  Gifts are a common display of romantic intentions, according to Victorian tradition you would never personally present a gift to someone you weren’t courting.  I won’t elaborate on how that could become an uncomfortable situation.

Many of these rules of etiquette apply to more popular gift receiving events such as birthday or graduation parties.  Although the gifts are a more dominate element of display in such occasions discreetness does apply.  Hosts should have a designated area that is easy for guests to find in which gifts may be placed and when a guest arrives they should offer to take care of the present.  Guests bringing gifts ought not to make remarks such as “I hope you like it.” or “You’re going to love this.” just inquire where to put your gift and get on with the festivities.  Surely you’ll be the one embarrassed if it turns out they don’t actually ‘love it’.

It has become a custom for guests of honor to open gifts publicly at celebratory events.  If you recall the scenario earlier in the letter regarding the bedazzled toothbrush holder and Uncle Jim’s  over-the-top stereo than you understand why I’m against such practices.  Personally I feel uncomfortable on both sides of the public present opening ceremony and unless your elders are adamant, in which case you should politely grin and thank Great Grandma Smith for her thoughtful gift of a size too large pack of underwear, I suggest refraining from such displays.  More private occasions in which gifts are involved are of course up to the individuals discretion as to how gifts should be opened.  If you’ve received gifts and didn’t get the chance to thank the thoughtful individual in person than a thank you letter of course should be issued within the next two weeks.

Perhaps the most important detail regarding gift giving and receiving is choosing a gift.  It seems that individuals either have the knack for choosing good gifts or they don’t but regardless thoughtful presents are always more appreciable than those of an elevated monetary value.  In fact presenting someone with an extravagant gift will almost always cause embarrassment and unnecessary feelings of inadequate reciprocal gift giving.  So again keep your levels of familiarity in mind when choosing gifts.  When invited to attend the parties of acquaintances I always bring a gift that I feel is appropriate for that person in terms of age, gender and my knowledge of their interests.  Something nondescript such as a personalized card and a quality purse sized hand lotion for that girl friend of your girl friend or an interesting bottle opener for your lab partners 21st birthday.  Even if you don’t have the ‘knack’ for gift choosing, thoughtful presents aren’t out of the realm of possibility.

Lastly, gift cards may not be considered a ‘cop-out’ in modern society however if they are chosen thoughtlessly than they might as well be cash, or in a worst case scenario; cash they can’t use.  It’s only courteous to chose a gift card to an establishment that is accessible to the individual (this can include online stores) and that they have an interest in.  To keep my gift card presents in a thoughtful and personal mode I always attach them to a card or note and frequently will simultaneously give them in conjunction with a small trinket in the theme of the party, gift, relationship etc. Perhaps there isn’t a good reason for this aside from the fact that it shows the guest of honor that you care enough to take the time, but always wrap your presents.  Get creative and use news paper, I once made a bow out of some left over bird netting.  Concealed in a target shopping bag your gift exudes a message of last minute carelessness.  Of course if you receive a poorly chosen gift card or less than optimally wrapped package don’t be offended or annoyed but thankful and polite (you can always go exchange those gift cards at plasticjungle.com, discreetly of course).

With this summers gauntlet of graduations, birthday’s and myriad other social engagements I hope that this Neo-Victorian guide to gift giving and receiving etiquette will behoove you.  I wish you all satisfying and embarrassment free engagements.

Discreetly Yours,

Alexandria

Posted in Degrees of Farmiliarity, Etiquette | 29 Comments

My Thoughts on Pomp and Circumstance

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Victor

This week I write to you regarding my feelings on the various practices which are often grouped under the label of ‘pomp and circumstance’. These feelings may derive in part from those of my childhood however I believe them to be justified. I am very much not a fan of such things; I find that ceremonies tend to be entirely useless. Let me be clear that I am not opposed to tradition but more to meaningless ceremony which is carried out seemingly as a matter of habit. We in modern society seem to have a strong tendency of taking events or occasions which might hold some actual meaning or merit and diluting them down under layers of purposeless formality until all of the true meaning or significance of the occasion has been lost to sight. It is an odd phenomena that the events meant to recognize one thing or another can overshadow the thing they exist in recognition of.

I believe that it is a fair but potentially overarching generalization to say that we have all been to some event or another involving small symbolic rituals, such as candle lighting ceremonies, which no one seems to truly understand. It is not the short little rituals that I find most offensive but the long winded speeches that seem to exist for no other reason than to waste many peoples’ time. Do not misunderstand me, a speech is not an innately useless thing. There does however exist a certain subset of speeches which manage not to say anything at all in a very large amount of time.

Effective communication is important to me; I am strongly of the belief that a person should not use a single word where more would be clearer. That said, I am also of the belief that the amount of words needed to express a thing clearly should be used and no more. If a congratulations is in order a congratulations should be said and things should be left at that. Filling space with empty or meaningless words such as ‘believe’ makes it harder for a listener to focus on those words which do have meaning.

I say all of this because ceremonies often exist to the end of congratulating people for accomplishing any number of things. However I encourage everyone to try to keep ceremony and long winded speeches to a minimum. They tend to cloud things until the ceremony becomes more important and a greater center of focus than the matter they are addressing, making them quite counter productive in my eyes. When so many words are said and formalities preformed it buries the words that directly address the matter that the ceremonies recognize, reducing their poignancy.

What I have said here is not a thing that I am adamant about however I do firmly believe that the world would be a more enjoyable place for everyone if ceremony was kept to a minimum. Focusing on the things that we would create ceremonies for will keep our accomplishments from being lost even to ourselves.

With the Highest Regards,

Victor

Posted in Philosophy | Leave a comment